I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
