Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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