You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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