last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
