If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
