peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
God I need to hump something, right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize