doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
