I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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