I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
