Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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