Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize