i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
