She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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