She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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