Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
