Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize