hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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