We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
