Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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