I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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