is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
