alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
