i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
