You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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