jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
