I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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