dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize