R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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