I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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