Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
even my farts smell like vagina
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
