i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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