I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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