Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.