Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
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I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card