she looked like the before picture.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.