Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize