So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
