with your own penis?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize