It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
