he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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