is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize