my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
