I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
