my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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