She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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