i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i need to put some appletini on your dick
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
