in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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