Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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