dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
