Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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