dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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