You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize