I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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