Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Randomize
