I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
