I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
