Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
