i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
