So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
