how can u be prego again
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
