Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
