what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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