Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize