We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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