hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
